A lesser known species non native to the islands are the Nersasians. Aka my in-laws. I could write and write about late night debates, travel debacles, itinerary disputes and just plain crazy statements. I could, only I wont because I'm planning on remaining related to these people for a long long time. And besides, a description is unnecessary, because they're just a family like any other. With the same tug of love for each other - no matter how inconvenient that love may sometimes be - the same frustrations and rolling here-we-go-again eyes.
The difference is of course that this particular family is not my family, or rather they are now but haven't always been. And while I've known them for over 6 years now, something about the binding rope of til-death-do-us-part has meant that I've lost any sense of distance. They are mine, and they're here to stay.
So I have to learn the intricacies, the dance steps, that will allow me to navigate unscathed the inevitable ructions and turbulence that accompanies family gettogethers. Here are a few survival tips I've garnered for in-law-holiday-navigation:
- Coffee is of paramount importance upon waking. Do not speak / pass go / collect any amount of dollars or pounds before taking that first all-important slurp. Proceed with caution until well into the second cup of the day.
- Headphones are always an option, as are sunglasses, if the need to appear / feel invisible becomes overwhelming.
- Cocktails are permissible from 5pm, Beer from noon.
- Choose your battles - know what principles you're prepared to overlook in favour of the greater, calmer good and which you are duty-bound to defend. Learn to lose gracefully.
- If all else fails, the pool / ocean is your ally.
Don't get me wrong, I'm under no illusions about my own family. For sure, it's easy enough for me, but they're mine and I contribute to the mystical dynamics as much as anyone else. For the uninitiated, I'm sure my family can be more than a little daunting- we flare and fight and forgive with alarming rapidity to those unaccustomed to voicing gripes. We also say 'I love you' more often than is normal, demand hugs at inconvenient times and love each other fiercely - so that an outsider might feel uncertain how to enter the tightknitness of our unit.
What coping techniques Jeremy has developed I'm not entirely sure. He's yet to go on holiday with my family though, so maybe the need has not yet presented itself. I'd wager that tapping, yawning, neck-clicking and his incomparable ability to appear to listen while he's elsewhere entirely would be part of his in-law defence.
Families. Unavoidable, infuriating, miraculous. They are what they are, and now I have two.
Chickens on the beach at St John
Jeremy and I attacking my mum with kisses - on a much colder beach in England.
I have fantastic in-laws and they are still a mystery to me sometimes! Oh families....
ReplyDelete