For once the Atlantic comes up trumps...

It's been a strange few days for me. Being here while the UK is left hanging, waiting for a wink and a nod and a few fingers-crossed-behind-their-backs promises to tip the balance into a Tory government (albeit with a few Lib-Dem concessions, to be weaseled out of at a later date).

I feel more detached and more enamored with Obama with every new report on deals and coalitions and muddled-explanations of what exactly has happened/ could happen/ will happen and why.

I guess it doesn't help that I'm not a big fan of any of the political options right now. Me and the rest of my country it seems, since no consensus was reached. The conservatives keep saying that there's been a decisive rejection of Labour - I don't really see what's so decisive about a hung parliament, but whatever.

I was talking to a young republican recently (always a rare find here in Massachusetts) who, worried that I was unfamiliar with what a republican was, told me that they're kind of like UK conservatives...only different.

Good job I already knew what a republican was.

Because UK conservatives are different. This is by no means a defence of them, but they do try to hide their social-conservative tendencies. They'd be in a lot of trouble if they just came out and said that they don't have much time for gay people. Instead, they give tax breaks to the traditional-nuclear family and hold press interviews of unparalleled incompetence on gay rights issues (seriously - it'd give Palin a run for her money). And they don't align themselves with the Christian Right. Probably because there isn't one. Or if there is, it doesn't have much muscle. And besides championing the rights of people to chase foxes until they're exhausted and then have them torn limb from limb by dogs, they don't really speak of gun laws. And while they moan their heads off about the NHS, they wouldn't dare disband it.

Basically, UK conservatives are just that. UK conservatives. With all the reticence and reserve and feigned politeness that being British entails. Which actually leaves me more suspicious of them than I am of American conservatives - at least with them you know exactly what they are thinking. They shout it, with refrains of 'drill baby drill' and "baby killer" and the like. With UK conservatives, you get the impression that beneath the smirk and Eton polish they are carefully maneuvering their way towards an uncertain but definitely sinister goal.

As a semi-politically aware adult, I have yet to live in a conservative country. My one memory of Margaret Thatcher's policies (John Major just doesn't count) is that she discontinued the distribution of milk to primary schools - something I was disappointed about since I'd read all sorts of picture books where kids got milk with straws at break time. Never-mind that the law was passed before I was even born, or the fact that she did a lot worse than lessen the country's calcium intake, that's still my lasting-thatcher memory.

And now here we are, a few slimy steps away from a conservative government, and for once I'm glad of the distance that the Atlantic gives. My self-interested-master-plan is that Labour will now be forced to get its arse in gear, remember what its values are and be ready to take on Smarmeron in 5 years time. Right about when I'm planning on moving back to England and a couple of years before Obama will have to leave office (I'm working on the assumption that he's getting voted in again - I can't bear the alternative).

So, I'm alright. I just feel sorry for anyone living in England who is poor...or gay...or eastern-european....or a single parent...or an unmarried cohabiter...or principled... oops, didn't mean to say that out-loud. Gonna shut up now before I lose friends.

 So this is the choice we get. Appealing, huh?