So far today I have accomplished absolutely nothing. I've cried a few times - not really because of anything as much as something to do and I wrote a list of things to do (besides cry) but haven't done them so it's basically a list of failures.
At the moment I'm feeling a bit like a spring weather forecast: sunny with patches of cloud and showers. Although today it's mainly showers and frowns with the odd quiet spell of reading. I'm homesick, my laptop is still out of action and I really want to moan my head off except I'm not allowed.
"Just remember that you chose this Hannah, and you're living the dream."
(Mum told me not to quote her in my blog but I'm ignoring her. Sorry.)
Living the Dream.
I know this is just a phase to get through, that summer is just around the corner (literally and metaphorically) and spring has its beautiful days for sure - on Saturday we spent the whole day sitting outside in the sunshine with friends, barbecuing USA style (which basically means cooking meat til it gives up all resolve to do anything but be delicious and infusing it with so much smoke that if you ate it every day you'd almost certainly die of cancer within the year. Yum.) and being married is proving to be more of a blessing and a comfort than I could ever have hoped for - but still, there are days like this.
I could end on a positive note, but I don't really want to. I'll be fine. Today sucks. That is all.
Oh we so all have these days! So you moved abroad for love as well?
ReplyDeleteLet me go read some more....nice to meet
Ah spanzo....you will have to have days like these so just get them over and done with...one down maybe five more to go? Now make use of your new tea towels and do some washing up ;-)
ReplyDeleteMiss you!!! I'm putting together your next parcel...xxxxxxxxxxx
I frequently hear from people at home "Well, you made your choice to live there" when I want to moan about the lack of holidays in America, the insurance companies, missing family events, missing friends and so on. Just people I chose to live here doesn't mean I have to love everything here. You moan away when you need to. It's normal and, sometimes, really helps. It will get easier.
ReplyDeleteIt takes time. Give yourself permission and ask your hubby permission to grieve the loss of home for a while. It takes time to move past grief and newness and to begin to set down roots. I hate it - it took me a year to feel like I had my feet on the ground again after my last move... but now it's great.
ReplyDelete