Bookcase.

In one week's time I will be living in the house in which I will own my first bookcase. I will own it soon because Jeremy owes me one from my birthday in October and, second to marrying him / no longer crossing oceans to see him etc etc, it's the thing I'm most excited about.

Ideally the bookcase will cover all walls of the living room and have one of those slide along ladders, so I can pretend to be Audrey Hepburn in Funny face. But really, as long as it's a bit more substantial than the Billy series at Ikea, I'm happy.

I know I sound more than a little nuts. But the thing is a bookcase equals a home for my books and my books equal me. I think I've already confessed on here that when I was a kid my mum got so worried about me not playing enough with other children that she hid my books (under the couch cushions - didn't take me long to find them). She may have had a point - my inner world when I was growing up was much more substantial and real to me than the outer world. But it didn't do me too much harm - I managed somewhere to learn social skills (possibly through reading about them in Malory Towers) and I made friends with people who had as much of an imagination as I did. Never mind that the rest of the kids thought we were bonkers - we got along just fine with our clogs and codes and secret languages (secret even to ourselves).

Reading is, to me, sanity. The peace some people find in music or hiking mountains or solving crosswords I find in reading. I don't know of any other time when I'm able to shut down the rest of my mind and worries and just focus on one thing.

Here are a few of the books that will be finding a well deserved home on my new shelves.

1. Narnia. While I define myself as 'Christian', the theology expressed through Lewis' allegorising in Narnia (particularly 'the last battle') best describes the way I see the world and the world beyond the world.

2. Rebecca. Gothically indulgent it may be, this is a story I never grow tired of.

3. Moontiger. This focuses on the power of memory and the idea that a remembered life does not happen in sequence. I stole my copy from a holiday home in Lanzarote - I couldn't bear to part with it... I'm hoping it was one of those 'take one, leave one' sort of bookcases, since I'm not the stealing kind.

4. Ghostwritten. A recent discovery and the first male author I've engaged with in a long time. Reads like a lesson in how to write, provided you're a genius - incredibly elegant and addictive.

5. Anna Karenina. The only book I read and loved at university (I studied English Lit...). I wrote a very hurried essay on it and the only book in my bibliography was errr 'Anna Karenina'... an academic low point all round, but an amazing novel.

6. The Sky is Everywhere. This is a young adult book about to be published in the UK by my friend Helen's publishing house...well, not her publishing house exactly but she 'found' the book and is editing it so gets all the credit from me at least. The book is one of the most engaging I've read. I've also just won major brownie points for including it. (Also just remembered that I don't actually own a copy... hint hint)

Of course there are more books. There are always more. And I don't really believe in these sorts of facebook 'interests and activities' lists. But as I repeat and repeat my 'Jeremy, Bookcase, Chair' mantra over and over, the significance of these books having a home is hard to overlook. I've already ordered Barbara Kingsolver's new novel to Jeremy's place for when I arrive. Gonna need some doses of sanity in those first few Boston days.