In approximately 912 hours, or 3,283,200 seconds (no I didn't just sit and work that out, my cousin sent me a site which will help me in my Grim Reaper of Time ways) I will be leaving TimeBank. In fact, I'll probably already have left and be sat by a devonshire fire with mince-pies and mulled wine (my staple Christmas diet) as I'm taking TOIL (trans. awesome system where I get time off for hours worked over contracted hours.) for my final day, since no one was going to be in the office anyway and I've no handover to do so I'd have been twiddling my soon-to-be-unemployed thumbs all day long.
I'll admit, I'm looking forward to unemployment. I'll rephrase. I'm looking forward to temporary unemployment. From January until whenever my Employment Authorisation Document comes through I'm going to be living guilt free off my supportive, loving husband (is it ok that my heart misses a beat when I say husband and January in the same sentence? I don't mean misses a beat in a swooning I-Love-Him-So-Much way, I mean in a using all the $%&@! on the keyboard sort of way... which no, mother, if you're reading this, does not mean I don't want to marry him, it's just £$%!&ing terrifying. And no I didn't swear, I said £$%&!). I get to sleep, eat late breakfasts with mugs of coffee and read War and Peace, because if I don't read it when I've nothing else to do, let's face it, I'm never going to read it.
But from the moment that EAD comes in, I'm officially given back rights to independence and supposed to be fully emancipated, futhering my career and not living off my husband (Husband!). Which begs the question, what the $%&@! am I going to do?
Last night I helped run a big event for TimeBank. It was fun - in the lead up to the event I don't think I clock-watched my days once, except to remark on how on earth it went from morning to night in the space of a second. I learnt some things about myself - such as when I'm busy I have more energy and need less sleep and that I like wearing electric blue (thanks for the dress Siany) and that holding a clipboard gives me a sense of power. So maybe I'll become an events planner. Or maybe I'll follow up on a jokey remark where I asked a complete stranger (who is opening a venue in Boston) to hire me and he didn't look horrified by the suggestion.
I could do anything. Anything, that is, that doesn't require formal qualifications (International relations and english lit don't really lend themselves to many vocations).
I'm trying to embrace this possibility for change rather than feel overwhelmed by it. I have time to figure it all out - the US Immigration Services have kindly prohibited me from working for my first 3 months in the states, which gives me some thinking space. I can volunteer. Goodness knows since I've spent the last 2.5 years telling other people to volunteer, it's probably about time I did. I may have to put off reading War and Peace, in favour of determining my life's path, but who was I kidding about that anyway?
What I absolutely will not do is watch re-runs of The Hills / Miami Social / Wives of Orange County (if I say I won't do it enough maybe resolve will translate into reality). I will take control. I will think and weigh and consider. I will not become a sloth. I will find the promised path to career fulfilment. And in the meantime, I might start carrying around a clipboard to make me feel more in control.
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