Everyone is having babies...

Everyone is having babies. I don't think that's even much of an exaggeration. I now have skype dates with 'people' who still count their age in months and whose length is measured rather than their height.

It'd be fair to say that it's freaking me out a little bit.

I can feel a strengthening tug inside me towards motherhood. Granted it may just be a longing to claim a definition that is something other than 'unemployed' (how many people get pregnant as an easier option to job hunting??), but I think it's more than that. Even Jeremy is less horrified by the whole idea than he used to be (he used to equate having children to death, so it'll take a while). But the bit that's properly freaking me out is the fact that I'm here, not there. Having children in this country feels like a root too far - one which would be harder to pull up than the others. And, for reasons related to yesterday's post, along with the fact that my mommy and I are really close, I could never imagine having children when living more than like three miles away from my mother. (OK, thirty - ninety, no J I'm not suggesting we move to Dibley). Yet here I am, feeling that tug, living in America, and I'll be 28 this year.

Like I said, Jeremy's only now starting to revise his thinking that you decide to have children once you've resigned yourself to your life being over, so I imagine there's a ways to go yet before we actually are faced with these decisions, but it scares me. There's the matter of maternity leave (so much better in England, but you have to be living there for a while before in order to be eligible) and the fact that deciding to start 'trying' doesn't mean a baby will appear nine months later. Which all seems to mean if 'we' (read 'I') want to be in England when we have kids then shouldn't we start thinking about it like yesterday?


There aren't any answers to any of these questions I know, because life just isn't that plannable; but when, aged twelveish, I mapped out my ideal life (married by 24, children by 25... I KNOW!) I never thought that moving continents would be something I'd have to worry about. (Nor did I have nightmares about my children being unable to say Worcestershire sauce.)

Ah well.

Now if you'll excuse me I have to shower and change in time for a skype date with a two month old.